Tuesday, April 12, 2005

This is one movie that went down “Sideways" (PB)

Every where I turn recently there’s another essay or advertisement for the movie “Sideways.” Two guys tour California wine country as a last gasp of fresh air before one of them enters that dreaded state of marriage just one week away. While there are a couple of nice wine scenes, the conversation is banal, the vocabulary obscene, the wine remarks plebeian, and the portrayed attitude towards sex, marriage, real love and women is offensive. On top of that stellar beginning, dump three totally gratuitous, and pornographic scenes and you have another typical Hollywood horse apple. The language reminded me of my former life as an airborne paratrooper only a bit worse. (Even I knew more than one expletive…)

If this movie, supposedly about wine, was a wine, it suffers from TCA, is contaminated with brettanomyces; is corked, shot, and turned to vinegar! I give it a big fat ZERO. I am sorry I wasted $4 and two hours on the film not to mention feeling dirty and defiled. Shame on me.

If you’re thinking you can fast forward past the garbage (that’s why I waited for the DVD) you can’t. The action is too fast, the scenes unpredictable and you would have to mute the entire movie to eliminate the offensive language. Please learn from my mistake, pass on this one and go raise a glass--of MERLOT, just for spite.


Anonymous said...

They were not in NAPA you dumbass. Also, it is a movie, in other words, ENTERTAINMENT!

PB said...

My apologies about the Napa misstep; Now,because it is "entertainment" it cannot be offensive? By the way, use a little more class in your critical comments; it will get you farther. (PB)

Ryan M Scott said...

Thank you for this review, I had the movie in my sidebar for sale, but I think that I shall remove, I wouldn't want to promote filth. Know any other wine movies or documentaries I could promote?